early one morning…

(*warning: scary sound effects ahead.)

i think he’s experimenting with his vocal chords, or he’s probably observed one too many noisy vehicles outdoors.

feel free to translate!

it ain’t no celebrity crib like on mtv, but it’s a cool hangout, no less. check it out, yo!

but i can’t seem to get ‘em nasty paparazzis outta mah face! wassup wit dat, dawg? er, fo shizzle ma nizzle!

now excuse me while i have my booty nap…

ahh, squishing my face into a squeaky ball.

it’s all in a day’s work.

*kids, do NOT try this at home. well… ok, try it. but i don’t guarantee your nose won’t end up squishy like mine!

lying on the couch, deep in discussion with my friend.

that’s ‘imaginary’ friend to you!

ouhhh! what’s this? blueberry cheesecake, you say…?

yes! gimme gimme gimme! eh..? what the -? where’d it go??

ack, curses! i can’t believe i fall for it EVERY TIME! bah! bah!

ouhh! what’s this? sunrise surprise, you say…?

i have a feeling i will have a special relationship with this sport some day… :)

maybe it’s got something to do with mummy being subjected to endless footie matches on ESPN when i was in her tummy and daddy had the remote control. i can hear a lot through that uterus wall, you know.

then again, she watched a lot of CSI too when she was preggers and she (finally) had the remote control. maybe i can be cool like that grizzly grissholm fella too some day…? (ouhh, watch out criminals and your messy DNAs!)

meanwhile, let me give you a lecture about the art of handling squeaky balls.

COOL HUNK.

“first, must get self dressed, after purging milk all over self and mum. oops, left a puddle of it on the floor too. sorry, mum, can’t help it. but ah feeeel good after that, erm, little merlion incident. see, i do a para-para dance for you.”

“after a long time waiting, i met another cool hunk. oh, and his WIFE too. when i grow up, i want to be tall just like them. they are as tall as that giant in jack and the beanstalk, you know.”

“the uncle’s wife was quite funny. i like her. i kept staring at her long hair and her moving lips. i call her The Madwoman. she kept talking to me in a high-pitched voice, like hyena, my mum said. what’s a hyena, mum? anyway, she made me laugh. hihi!”

“when they were leaving, they wanted to take me along. they even tried to trick me into saying goodbye to my mum and dad, and called themselves mummy and daddy. they almost got away with me, but i was smarter than they think. i gave them a yelp, and they quickly gave me back to mum and dad. nyeh nyeh!”

“thank you for trying to steal me, uncle and aunty! good effort, i must say. try again next time, ok? maybe in two years time, when i am heavier and have learned to throw tantrums.”

“we met with my other girl friend whose name starts with A… Alya!”

“mum, why can’t i wear a hat like that too? anyway, dad carried us during dinner. he’s strong, you know, my dad.”

“at first i wasn’t too sure about sharing dad’s lap with someone else, but it’s ok, i like alya. hihi!”

“however, i don’t know why she cried when i tried talking to her. maybe she doesn’t like me. :(“

“we walked around town, and mum made dad buy me yet another pair of bermudas that are too long. i hope i can fit into them soon and be an even cooler hunk. after all that walking, mum gave me some milk (see, i left some milk stains on her too, ngaha!) and i’m sure her milk’s drugged, coz i got high and fell asleep.”

“of course, i slept like a chicken and woke up again soon enough. why is mum always taking pictures? ooh, there’s alya. she’s looking at me! maybe i should act cool and give my ‘thinking man’ look. mm.”

“yawn. so tiring to be a cool hunk. take me home, momma!”