mommy was very very naughty today.

very.

she went out shopping and dragged daddy and baby with her while still in ‘confinement’. even the tak-pantang grandma wanted to follow when she heard the word “shopping”, but unfortunately she had to take care of her other grandson.

i swear, i spent ages sweating while figuring out how to work the *&$%^# stroller (before the husband came to my rescue), and later he spent ages sweating while figuring out how to install the &*%^#% car seat.

it seemed that we’d NEVER get to our destination at the rate we were going.

but we were soon well on our way…

i won’t mention where or how far we went, coz i’m sure there will be ‘people’ out there who’ll go “tut tut” at me for breaking out of jail.. i mean ‘confinement’.

just as we anticipated, we ended up nursing, diapering, cleaning up baby’s vomit, and putting baby to sleep more than actual shopping. and i learned that we had to move quickly, chop chop, get what we want and leave. browsing is a luxury.

i think the baby looks a little harried by the whole experience. LOL!

and here, i’d like to add a little note for first-time mothers-to-be in their last trimester:

a) prepare nursing tops! you’ll need them for b/feeding, in and out of the house.
b) stock up on toiletries to last throughout your confinement! things like cleanser, sanitary pads, etc.
c) get tiny ankle socks and tiny mittens for newborns! they fit better than those booties and mittens in gift packs people give you.

so yeah, you get the idea what i went out for.

that and the fact that i was simply itching to see the outside world again.

i know, i know. bad mommy.

“ouhh, i ain’t feelin’ too good, momma…!”
*snort snort cough*

i think every new mother would have bouts of postpartum sadness (i refrain from using the word depression, that being too extreme). i’ve covered one scenario which could trigger this. (ie. the inability to express b/milk.)

another scenario is being confined at home alone with the baby while your husband goes out for prolonged periods of time. (eg. shops for diapers for baby and breastpads for you, goes for a haircut, accompanies your dad to install stereo in car, etc.)

and one scenario in particular is likely to hit most new mothers.

seeing their babies ill.

all kinds of rubbish goes through your head – was it something he ate, or something i ate? what did i do wrong? am i a bad mother? what if he doesn’t get better? what if he… ?

the little one has been wheezing and snorting, his breath jagged, coughing occasionally, and those sounds were amplified to the nth degree by my anxious new-mother ears.

he didn’t cry very much, just wriggled about uncomfortably and made sad faces. :(

after some snorting and wheezing and sad mews and grimaces, he’d go to sleep.

we’d used the suction thingy on him, to get the phlegm out of his nose, and managed some yellowish booger. at night, i let him sleep on my chest, where he snuggled perfectly between the curves on my body. (such is the beauty of God’s creation – our babies fit our bodies, inside and outside.)

so this morning we bundled him up and searched for a clinic which opened on public holidays.

the paediatric clinics we called were closed or closing already, so we tried the 24-hr family clinic nearby. however, they said they don’t have the proper medicine for newborns. then i remembered the hospital nurses, who said i could call the nursery at any time of the day. so i did.

they were so helpful still. they said to come by the family medical centre at the hospital. so we did. and hey! the charges aren’t too bad either. (much cheaper than if i’d gone to a paedi.)

i know very well that phlegm is one of the most common things a baby gets, and i know very well there’s nothing to be worried about since the baby doesn’t have fever.

but i know he wasn’t feeling good, and OH, the helpless feeling you get seeing your helpless baby’s face, it’s simply… heart-wrenching.

anyways, baby’s sleeping better now. a little druggy, but we’re not going to give him too much, and especially NOT giving him the panadol.

but i might let him sleep on my chest again tonight. just to make sure he breathes… better.

time REALLY passes by when you’re in confinement.

so what happens in the daily life of a confined woman?

you wake up… feed baby… burp baby… change diaper… massage… eat… nap… wake up… feed baby… burp baby… change diaper… eat… nap… wake up… etc.

of course in between there’s the occasional cleaning up of those dripping nipples.

in the day, my mum will come by to keep us company, and the maid will appear during lunch and dinner with my homecooked food. at night, it’s just me and the husband, who i nudge in his sleep a good deal when it’s diaper-changing time.

oh, did i tell you i eat rice now?? yes, it’s a miracle! i officially have no more aversion to its taste. i eat it TWICE a day in fact. plus, i burp less. so, i’m… almost normal now. heh.

the baby seems to think day is night, and night is day. but generally, he’s an easy baby (so far). his cries are specific – he’s either hungry or he’s wet. when these two needs are met, he’ll sleep like a baby.

wait.. he IS a baby.

anyway, yesterday was my first day out of jail… i mean, confinement, exactly a week since i came home.

so exciting!

hello. that’s me for now, day nine after delivery. 10 inches and 6kg off. *phew*

i know that i’ve lost 6kg, or half my weight gain, because we’d gone to the doc’s clinic for my checkup, and the first thing i was made to do was weigh myself and check my blood pressure.

thank gawd no more pee strip tests.

the doc had a look at my stitch and declared it gone, poof, disappeared. he even pointed out and explained to a clueless izad where the stitch had been.

he forewarned me that the next time round, i’d have to go to the hospital earlier, or i might end up giving birth at home, in the car, or the bus stop like some of his patients in their second or third pregnancies. then we discussed about family planning, how breastfeeding would affect my fertility, and recommended that we wait at least a year or two before conceiving again. but cheeky me told him of our 2007 plan. he approved. hee.

my next appointment will be 2 months from now, after my next menses.

now, the other part of our visit to the clinic was to have the baby’s wee wee snipped. the doc checked to see if the wee wee was a prime candidate, and explained to us the procedure.

the lil one was drugged up with a bit of panadol syrup and some of my good ol’ b/milk (that’s a drug too, you know).

20 mins later, it was time…

the doc injected anaesthesia at four points around his… thingy. the baby surprisingly mewed only a tiny bit. there was a lot of blood involved…

then the ring was tied…

we were asked if we wanted to keep the foreskin. erm. no thanks.

as you can see from my vantage point, i was none too keen to watch the whole thing. i averted my eyes, kinda like avoiding direct sunlight. i cringed a bit on his behalf, my hapless, defenseless, clueless little one…

but his daddy and uncle watched in fascination, with a videocam in tow at that. to one day show the little one the ghastly, torturous things we did to him when he was small. hee.

meanwhile, he slept throughout the procedure, oblivious to the world.

of course, when we headed home and the drug wore off, he started to cry bloody murder! lol!

he’s better today, cries for his two needs as per usual – hunger and wetness. no whiny cries.

my brave lil hero.